Today was 'not' a Fairytale....

Day 1 without Chris:

It's pretty strange to even mention that phrase. Unpleasant actually. It's not anything I expected or anticipated. It just... happened. And for so many stupid reasons. So many reasons that I would say being my fault. It's life though. We'll move on. Or will I? Can I? I don't know if I can. I won't do anything stupid or unthinkable... it's just... I don't know. I've taken so many steps forward with him. So far as to introducing him to my family! Mi familia!!! Where has that all gone now? I've taken so many steps back now. Who knows if I'll ever go that far again, with anyone. I don't want there to be anyone else though. That's the problem. If I was to write a CD about Chris, I am not quite sure what the songs would be, but the title would be something like Mariah Carey's Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel and Kelly Clarksons All I Ever Wanted. Lets just call it..

"Memoirs of All I Ever Wanted"

Sounds fair? right? It's not though. it's not fair at all. So MUCH happened last night. I lost my boyfriend, and I lost my best friend (JP). Well, hopefully I didn't lose him, but once again, the roommate experience was at its most uncomfortable stage. It was the point where everyone realized that everyone talked about everyone. Better yet, I think everyone knew they talked about eachother, but last night it just spilled out. And it all started because of me. and that STUPID futon. I should just burn it, but my things would probably go along with it. Yikes. So yea, roommate and I had a fallout last night. He's never raised his voice like that to me, ever. That was a bigger fallout than Travis and I had a couple of years ago, my first year in Park Hall. That was settled quickly, because we realized we needed eachother. JP has Jesse. He doesn't need me. I need him though. I need him badly. There's no one to talk to about this. Except myself. There's no room to talk though, I'm just sittin here picking up the pieces, trying to put them together.

It was such a perfect life, such a perfect releationship. For me it was perfect. His mind, his body, his life.. it was everything I looked for. And I found it. But he called me a quitter last night. I couldn't help but laugh, but it didn't strike me as funny. He was right. I am a quitter. Not in life, never have I quit in life. My job, my family, sports, ect... I've never quit.... but him, I quit :-( So I did... I quit in life. He was my life.

I'm running out of words, because sooner or later I'll just sound like I'm repeating myself. It's too much, something I've never anticipated, like I said earlier. My sister is coming down to Muncie tonight. I cannot wait to see her, but it still won't take my mind off one thing......

Well here is to the official restart of my blog. Bloggers, enjoy.

Still.... nothing compares...

"It's been so lonely.. without you here. Like a bird, without a song..."
- Wynter Gordon

Well the day is officially over. Scratching my head kinda. But no worries. Michael is here for a sleepover but all that seems to be coming from this is youtube watching and citing Scary Movie and Mean Girl quotes. Ugh, how old am i!?!?

In other news, I signed a lease to live off campus today. First time I'm living off campus in 4 years... 4 years!!!!!! Ahhh!!! So excited. I'm living by myself. Everything to myself. My own bed (well... Chris's too), own kitchen, bathroom, ect! Ugh! Privacy!!! :0) I smile so much when I think about it. Wow.... 4 years. Have I really been in college this long? I can still remember being a freshman, what I thought, how I was, how I looked, who I was friends with. DAMN! I miss some of them, not going to lie! Well enough about reminising about the past. HERE I AM!

So the apartment is taken care of, internship is taken care of, and school is going great!!!! I am off to bed! I wish twitter was like this, but I understand why. No one reads this most likely, but I realized it's so nice to get my thoughts out there. It's like I'm telling someone my thoughts!

Night Y'all!!!

Bobby McClanahan <3

Nothing compares...

Well I am sitting in my Sport Admin 303 Marketing class right now. This is insane. There is an elderly man in our class and he is clearly providing all the entertainment that we could possibly need. This man means no harm, he's not looking for attention, but his personality is not what I would call, 'unique.'

Yesterday was Monday, another boring day. I only had a few classes, but the day went by rather quickly which was surprising. I played volleyball for nearly 3 hours last night and now I am paying for it. My back and my feet are killing me. I would play every night if I could though.

Chris and I are going to tour (and hopefully sign a lease for) my studio apartment for next year. This place is wonderful. It's two blocks south of TIS bookstore, and it is near campus as well as the bars! I hope Chris can get away with living with me during the summer. I would love nothing more! :-) The tour and potential signing period is at 5:30pm. After that, there is a basketball game against Miami (OH). Good luck Cards!

Not really much on my mind right now, but hopefully I'll post another this evening. Till then, much love!!!

-Bobby

It's been awhile..

"It's been awhile, I know I shouldn't have kept you waiting, but I'm here now." - Britney Spears

That quote (lyric) that was typed above pretty much sums up this entire post. It has been awhile! I initially started this post for a grade in school, but I believe that good things (hopefully) can come from this.

No worries, I'll keep this post short and sweet.

In my eyes, I can (and will) use this blog to express my thoughts, feelings, and expressions towards what I think, feel, and believe during my life. My goal is to express positive feedback towards myself and others. My goal will definitly not be to bash others or make myself feel (or sound) more superior. It makes me excited that I can now put a blog to good use. This will be my first official blog. We'll see what good comes from it. :-)

To sum up my weekend, I took my boyfriend, Christopher Rios home and he loved it! It made me laugh and smile watching him do the same when he saw my house, my pets, and my life that I left when I came to Ball State University. The Indianapolis Colts are advancing to their 4th Superbowl in franchise history, that was enjoyable to watch. Right now, Chris and I are watching the Saints and Vikings. On that note, I am signing off. See you all tomorrow!! <3

Bobby

Global positioning devices? Too far?

In a reflective thought in the text book, there is a topic that asks you, "Is it fair business practice to allow global tracking devices on everyday devices such as cars and cell phones?" The argument is split here. The pro side would support sacrificing privacy for an increase in national security. The feeling of being more safe, to put it more simply. I say, absolutly not. The use to global positioning has been efficiently and effectively used during times of war by the Navy, National Gaurd, and is currently being used to track the President of the United States. All of those things hold extreme importance in which global positioning is used legitimatly. Compare that to using global tracking on cell phones to monitor fast food consumption or car mileage. There is a huge difference between the two.

Maybe someone has only a 20 minute lunch break, and McDonalds is all they have time for. Maybe a parent needs to drop off and pick up their kid from school everyday, has a long drive to and from work, or needs to travel far for Christmas with the inlaws. Using global tracking to monitor peoples actions that are irrelevant to government use is unacceptable. One could understand if an individual has a history of violent crimes, on a terror watch list, or even a detainee at Guantanamo Bay. But to label someone for driving too far than their insurance requires or eating too much fast food is a violation of human rights. You're talking about actions that every American does. If one should be caught and punished, we all should. If a legal tracking system would someday be put to use on devices such as cell phones, cars, and computers, then there would need to be a court-ordered warrent for these devices to be put into effect. Anything else would be a violation of the fourth amendment.

The fourt amendment states, and I quote, "searches be judicially sanctioned and supported by probable cause." What qualifies as probable cause, someone would ask? Well, overmileage on my Ford Explorer is probably the last thing to worry someone else's mind. To finish my argument, your car, your laptop, even your car is your personal property. Legally, no one has a right to your personal stuff without a court order or your permission, regardless of the device. Granted there are exceptions, that would include suspicion. Anything else, and it would be like placing a camera in your living room with 24-hour surviellance. I am no privacy expert, but the practice of global positioning devices in personal belongings is in many ways, against law. It is a practice that should not be practiced among everyday, innocent Americans.